Aug. 30, 2024
20: A Simple Way to Increase Your Confidence in Networking Conversations
If you've ever felt less than confident in a career networking conversation, you're not alone. Host Doug Lester shares a tip he picked up as an executive recruiter that helped him feel more confident and be more effective when he was networking for a living. It can help you, too.
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Transcript
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In the last episode of the podcast, that's Episode 19, we talked about how the friction of having to collect disorganized information, notes, and tasks can keep you from starting or following up on your networking.
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But the fear of coming across as poorly informed can be an even bigger problem.
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It can be a barrier to progress for even the most experienced networkers.
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When I was working as an executive recruiter, I often managed multiple searches simultaneously and might have needed to reach out to as many as 100 people in a week.
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When I had that much going on, it was easy to mix up the details of the various searches I was working on, and it made me anxious that in a less focused moment, I might forget or mix up details about clients or the industry.
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That nagging fear could sometimes make it hard to pick up the phone and have a conversation.
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And when you're networking for a job, you have a lot of information and details to keep track of too.
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And you might have multiple job networking strategies.
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Maybe you're considering different kinds of roles in different companies, maybe in different geographies.
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You might even be networking in different industries out of necessity or just to hedge your bets.
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Appearing well informed and sounding sharp when you're shifting your focus back and forth among so many details and topics, sometimes rapidly, can make it really hard to feel confident that you're going to present well when you do get time with people.
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So I learned a trick to come across as better informed and more confident when I was a recruiter having networking conversations.
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It's a really simple one, and it can work for you too.
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As I mentioned in the introduction to this episode, when I was working as an executive recruiter, I needed to know a lot about the searches I was working on, my clients, and the industry.
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I don't know about you, but I am not one of those people who can keep a ton of information in my active memory.
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Some people can.
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They can store and recall facts and figures over days, weeks, months, and even years, and make exact connections between them whenever they're called upon to do it.
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I admit it, that's not me.
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More often than not, I'm able to recall a sense of the details, but not the exact details themselves.
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It's more like I recall the patterns of the details and the themes related to them, more than the details themselves.
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That overall more intuitive sense might serve me well in higher level, more philosophical conversations and coaching too, for that matter, but it's not so helpful when you need to impress someone with the accuracy and depth of your knowledge.
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I have a friend who can recall almost anything.
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about anything or anyone, and even remember the connections among people.
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It's truly impressive.
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No surprise, he was and still is an executive recruiter, and he's really good at it.
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So what do you do if you're more like me and can't recall facts, figures, and details about people, places, and companies at the drop of a hat?
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I discovered the solution to my problem a long time ago on a fellow recruiter's desk, and I will always be grateful to her.
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And it's really simple.
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I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of it myself, but I didn't.
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You need to make a cheat sheet and be proud that you have.
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Given that a lot of networking happens remotely these days, either on the phone or Zoom or through email and DMs, why not have the information you need just to glance away?
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No one will notice.
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Even if you're on Zoom, you can probably take a look at it and it's still not going to make a huge difference.
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It will just look like you're taking notes.
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And even though I'm referring to it as a cheat sheet, what I'm suggesting isn't really cheating.
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It's just being organized and prepared.
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In other words, considerate.
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Having a cheat sheet will help you avoid wasting your networking contact's time and your own.
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So, what's on this cheat sheet?
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Well, when I was a recruiter, it included all kinds of details about my client and the opportunity they had on offer.
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You know, the title of the role, it's position in the org chart, the names of immediately adjacent colleagues and their titles, an anticipated salary range.
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Yes, we had one.
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Key benefits, et cetera.
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You know, the basics that I didn't want to stumble over when I was having a particularly busy day, had to change my focus from one search to another quickly, or I was just a little off my game.
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My cheat sheet also captured a few details about my networking strategy and the work I had already done and some of the conversations I had to sharpen my firm's and my client's thinking about the role, the challenge it presented, and the kind of person who would likely be most successful in it.
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It also captured where I thought I might be headed next in my networking.
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Surprisingly, or not, this was something I learned, had to be on my cheat sheet, and be kept up-to-date.
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People often wanted to know who I had already talked to, avenues I had investigated, and who I was thinking of getting in touch with next.
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About that last one, they were often able to provide introductions if I mentioned a name or two of people I was thinking of reaching out to that I didn't already know.
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And finally, my cheat sheet included questions I might ask to help the people I was reaching out to open their minds and be as helpful as they could possibly be.
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When you reach out to people for networking, whether you're a recruiter looking for a candidate or a potential candidate looking for a job, they tend to tighten up a little.
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They feel pressure to give you names or give you leads.
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Sure, that would be great if they did, but often the most important thing that can come out of a networking conversation could be an insight that changes your strategy.
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As a recruiter, maybe I was using the wrong language to describe an opportunity or the challenge it presented, and that was making it less marketable.
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And if you're networking for a job, maybe you're using the wrong language to describe what you're looking for, or an example you're providing as the proof of your ability to overcome a challenge is less than convincing.
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In other words, you could gather feedback that could improve your narrative.
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So what should be on your cheat sheet?
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Based on my experience as a recruiter when I was networking professionally, here are seven ideas.
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First, the condensed LinkedIn headline version of your narrative.
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It should address the three questions I talk about in Episode 1 of the podcast.
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That's, What's Your Narrative?
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And those three questions are: What do you do?
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What context do you do it in?
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And what's the impact of your work?
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It will help you provide a clean, crisp answer to the tell me a little about yourself type of questions you often get in the first few minutes of a networking conversation.
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It's a framework that you can hang all of the other details of your background and experience on.
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If you haven't already listened to Episode 1 of the podcast, then be sure to do that.
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And also listen to Episode 8, which is about communicating your narrative through your LinkedIn headline.
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It will walk you through developing your own narrative statement that captures the key elements that recruiters and most people will need to know in order to help you.
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The second is a few short bullets that prompt you to tell stories that support the ideas you present in the condensed LinkedIn version of your narrative.
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Under pressure, it can sometimes be hard to remember these stories, or at least all of them, and you end up falling back on the ones you're most comfortable with and can end up sounding a little repetitive or thin on the background details.
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The third thing is the range of job titles you're currently targeting.
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I know it seems obvious, but I've had more than just a few people choke on this one when I ask about it in a coaching session.
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So do yourself a favor and write them down.
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The fourth is the roles you've already interviewed for, if any, and the ideal roles or companies you'd ideally be interviewing for soon.
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On that second part, don't offer these up too early in your conversations.
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Let the person you're engaging with brainstorm ideas for you before you offer examples that might ultimately end up limiting their thinking.
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The fifth is the key learnings or insights you've picked up while you've been networking.
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Networking is a great opportunity to not only learn about yourself and clarify your thinking about your career, it's a great time to learn what's going on in your industry.
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Those insights about companies and the industry are not only going to be useful to you, they're of great potential value to the person you'll be engaging with.
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Sharing these insights, which may help your networking contact manage their own career, could be the value you provide in return for your networking contact's time.
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As a recruiter, I learned that having these kinds of insights at the ready and sharing them, as long as they weren't breaking confidence with my client or the people in my network, sharing those insights helped make people more willing to spend time with me.
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While executive recruiters aren't career coaches, there was no harm in sharing some insights that could leave my networking contacts better off when I was imposing on their time.
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This sixth is a section that should probably change depending on who you're engaging with.
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You'll want to remember how you found your way to your current networking contact.
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People are always interested in knowing this when there hasn't been a warm introduction made.
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When you share the name of the person or the names of the people who suggested someone to you as a knowledgeable, helpful contact in the industry, it's a great way to make them feel good about themselves and about the strength of their own professional and social network.
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And why not give them a boost if they're helping you out?
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And keep in mind, if you're asked how you found your way to someone and you happen to forget, or you struggle to come up with the details, it can be a turn off.
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The implication is that once you end the conversation with them, You're likely to forget about them too.
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It just comes across as too transactional and makes you seem less than serious.
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So maybe you list the breadcrumbs that led you to your networking contact on a sticky or a virtual sticky, and you'll have those details at the ready when you need them.
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And the seventh and last one would be a short list of questions you would feel comfortable asking to get your networking contact to open up and be the most helpful they can be.
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Some potential questions might be: How did you end up in your current role at your current company?
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What have you really liked about what you do?
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What would you want to change?
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And who do you think is doing the most interesting work in your industry or who do you think is falling behind?
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And a personal favorite, maybe for later on in the conversation when you've got some rapport developed: If you weren't in your current role, where else would you want to be?
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That last one can often be the most helpful question.
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You see, other people are thinking about their careers too, and may have already done some research and thought through things that could potentially help advance yours.
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Who knows, they might be willing to share that thinking.
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You might as well ask.
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Of course, there are other things you could put into your own personal cheat sheet.
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This list of suggestions that I've given you isn't exhaustive.
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And then there's the question of what format your cheat sheet should take.
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And here, dear listener, it's up to you.
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I think the most important thing is that it has a layout that makes it easy to find and read the information, right when you need it.
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Don't write it all out in paragraph format.
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Don't create a never ending bullet list that you have to scroll through several screens or go through several pages of paper if you print it out.
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When I was a recruiter, I worked with an unlined sheet of paper and I divided it into appropriately-sized boxes for the different types of information I was capturing.
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And I found that if I took the time to write out my cheat sheet by hand, I was more likely to commit at least portions of it to memory.
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I'll bet the same would be true for you too, but your solution could also be a table in Word or Google Docs, a slide or two in PowerPoint, if that's your thing, a well formatted Excel sheet.
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You name it.
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It's not rocket science.
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It's just good organization, and an opportunity to clarify your own thinking.
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If you keep it up to date, your cheat sheet will ultimately end up being a written reflection of your evolving thinking about your networking and career strategy.
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It will help you feel more prepared, grounded and more confident throughout the networking process, which for even some of the most experienced professionals can be a little nerve wracking at times.
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So this has been the sixth episode in my mini-series about networking for your career.
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If you've missed any of the episodes about networking, go back to Episode 15, which is how to get over your fear of networking, the first one in the series, to get caught up.
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And if you still feel like you're not getting the traction you'd like in your own networking strategy, consider booking a Career Strategy Session with me at careernarratives.com/strategy See you soon.
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